Don't worry about your life...

well another one day trip to cleveland has come and gone. it's an annual trip i take to get checked out by some world renown doctors. the care at the clinic is second to none, that's why we go out there. however every time the yearly trip approaches i think i begin to worry. it doesn't really feel like a conscious worry either. more like some extra weight i am carrying on my back, or a hazy cloud blurring my vision. hard to explain i guess. there is a definite nervous anticipation though. cleveland is a place that haunts me in my dreams, and while i am awake. some of the worst days i have ever lived, i lived there. some of the worst news i ever heard, i heard there. the place truly frightens me.
Yet each year it somehow renews me. it somehow strengthens me. it forces me to wait. it forces me to trust. it forces humility. it forces me not to worry about the things i can't control. not to worry about my life. cleveland has created a dependence i never thought i would have. for that i am grateful.

in another news i reached a small personal milestone today. a project i have written a song for has been released. my first song on a project ever!! it's the first of many i hope! the project is called "storyteller" and the song i wrote is called "lesser if life." you can check it out here.

The Cure For Pain...

if you haven't figured it out yet, all of my post titles are songs or lyrics from songs i am listening too. please feel free to comment on who the artist is. one of my most favorite games to play is "name that tune, or artist." my dad and i used to play this all the time. he is an encyclopedia for classic rock. when we listen to the radio together he usually can't miss.


i have been inspired alot lately by folk rock. i know what people think, it can be too chill at times and can all blend together melodically or musically speaking. however what inspires me about folk rock is the storytelling. folk writers are great storytellers. they tell their own stories. they tell other peoples stories. they tell their stories through other peoples eyes. its beautiful. its inspiring. its inspiring because i have a story to tell. we all have stories to tell. and i have struggled for a long time with how to tell mine. struggled with what to do with my story. wondered if other people want to hear it. i have spent alot of time trying to write about other things. maybe to unintentionally to ignore my life. maybe to ignore what i have been through. maybe at times we try to forget our experiences. but i realized that it is our experiences and stories that bring us together. so i am trying to remember mine. trying to get mine down and captured. its not super glamorous. and it won't be a "made for tv movie" someday. but its my story, and it's worth telling. and so is yours.

so it's kind of my cure for pain. actually i dont know if there is a cure for pain. so its more like my therapy for pain. pain therapy. sounds like a good song name.
i may try and post some of these writings. we'll see...

Searching for a place of my own...

I'm sure someone will make the comment so I will make it for all of us "Yes i have finally posted again." I think it has been about a year. quite a long time i know. as i am writing i have chicken on the grill and green beans and potatoes warming. thats right i cook! anyway just wanted to drop a quick post. there will be more to come. at some point...

Coming home...

so it's been a while since my last post. alot has happened, to much to talk about. Here are some noteworthy things:

-an incredible vacation to florida with my beautiful wife
-taught in both Sr. High and Middle school gatherings
-productive song writing
-my taylor got professionally worked on
-the yankees are in a 9 game winning streak

I have also come to the realization that I go in spurts with my blog, and I'm ok with that. for a while I felt bad about this, I felt pressured. people would say "you have a blog, you have to write in it". I will write...I will always write. Just not always in my blog. My blog writing may go in spurts!

Boston...

i think i must have one of the best neighbors a guy could have. his name is jeff. he is a single dad who lives next door with his son james. here are a couple of things about jeff:

-he grew up in the south
-he spent alot of time in the military
-he owns is own flooring business
-he loves movies and mac computers and guitars
-he is a champion BBQ griller

the last one is no joke. the dude has some of the baddest grills you'll ever see. he's got a huge smoker that is custom made to hitch to the back of his truck so he can travel all over the country with it. and he does travel all over the country with it. he takes his grilling recipes and techniques to competitions all over the place carving out entire weekends to cook and compete. you know what the best part is? the best part is that while he is practicing his new recipes at home...he generously shares them with me!!
You see jeff gives generously because in his words "thats how it's supposed to be." jeff cares about being a good neighbor. he has said to me many times "if you ever need anything....i'm here." he once threw a neighborhood party so all the neighbors could get to know each other and have fun together because in his words "thats what it is supposed to be like." he once helped raise over twelve thousand dollars so his friends son could receive cancer treatment because in his words "he's a good kid and that's what we do for each other." you see jeff gets things. he gets things i dont even get. like there is a better way to live in community than our normal ways of isolation. that instead of going home and locking the door we are supposed to be there for each other. that you should love your neighbor as yourself and the best way to show that kind of love is through your how you live and what you do. and when a neighbor is in need, you help.
i learn alot from jeff. i learn so much more than the latest grilling techniques..... or where the competition is this weekend. i learn how to be a good neighbor.


while you may be shocked a little by the title, on some level i am glad that boston is back, because that means baseball as a whole is back, and of course that the greatest team ever is back. although i think i am even more glad that spring is back. i love spring....warm days with no humidity....rebirth of nature....and baseball. what could be better?

Don't Panic...

this post is for my friend sean. McD you are the only one who may actually read my blog and for that I am grateful. this one goes out to you. just giving you a little blog love!

p.s. keep growing the long hair dude...it's very rock and roll. Stay Strong!! also notice the coldplay title. One of their more underrated songs i think.

Hello, Goodbye...

i am wanting to be more faithful with my blog and because of that i feel all this pressure to post, even though i really dont have anything to post about. so i dont really know what is going to happen next...but i'll keep writing for a little.

-i feel like the weather is just toying with me lately. we'll have a really beautiful day followed by several days that make me want to never wake up. please make up your mind. actually let me make up your mind. it's time for spring. the winter has been too long in more ways than one.

-the Beatles have to be the greatest rock band of all time. no i am not saying the Beatles are my favorite band of all time, but their songwriting is timeless. something i hope mine is someday (hey we all can dream!!)

-i have the greatest wife in the world...no more comments necessary.

-i cant wait for baseball season to start, even though i am thoroughly intrigued right now by march madness. however soon...very soon the yankees will begin their 27th title run!!!

-although we in no way promote violence (nor do we wish people physical harm) my friends and i sometimes play a game called "if you had to punch..." we then proceed to name two people that we dont necessarily dislike, but just feel it would be invigorating to punch. we also may pick two people that it may be incredibly mean to punch and then yell at each other for being mean enough to say that you would actually punch them. but that is the fun of the game because you dont have an option, you have to punch one. so my question to you is if you had to punch bill gates or steve jobs who would you punch??
*please also feel free to leave a comment with your own "if you had to punch" scenario